.:A Desert Lifestyle Article:.
Meet Mrs. Gurganus
By: Katie Elwell
Photos by: Mandi Jaramillo
From the moment we walked up the steps of her beautiful home, as she opened wide the doors, greeting us with open arms and that North Carolina-tinged welcome, I knew that Janet Gurganus was not a typical commanding general’s wife.
Who is Janet Gurganus?
Mrs. Gurganus’ path to life as a general’s spouse has been anything but dull. She began her journey in Los Angeles, studying television production and working for various studios. As the cost of living began to rise, she made a move back to her home state of Colorado and began job hunting. A phone call to a wrong number accidentally connected her to a Navy recruiter and the 31-year-old soon found herself working as an enlisted photographer aboard the USS Eisenhower. “It was an adventure from day one,” said Gurganus. “It was the best experience I’ve ever had in my life. It was also the hardest experience.”
After three years of active duty, Gurganus got out and began working as the Audiovisual Manager for Northrop Grumman at the Joint Warfighting Center in Suffolk, Virginia. During her eight year stint there Gurganus met her husband-to-be, Brigadier General Charles “Mark” Gurganus. At the time he was a Colonel and working as the Observer Trainer for the Joint Warfighting Center. A strong friendship began to grow, but Gurganus never imagined that she would one day marry this man.
The Love She Can’t Live Without
After several years both realized that their friendship was becoming something deeper. “My motto was, 'I won’t ever marry somebody I can live with. I will only marry somebody I can’t live without,’ and that was Mark,” Gurganus said.
The day that General Gurganus was to leave for Haiti, Mrs. Gurganus traveled to Camp Lejeune to see him off. “That morning I was doing dishes and he had to be at the airport within an hour or two. He sat me down and asked me to marry him. I of course said yes. Then we went and got a hot dog at the gas station and I dropped him off at the airport. He left me to tell his Mama we were engaged.”
On December 31. 2004 they were married in a winter wonderland setting and their life together began with one small inconvenience, two months later General Gurganus deployed to Iraq for his first tour. While her new husband was across the world, Mrs. Gurganus continued working. Retirement was right around the corner when he returned, so they began making plans, but the Marine Corps was also making plans and then the phone call came. He was selected to Brigadier General. 
His Marine career was extended and Mrs. Gurganus quit her job to move to Camp Lejeune. For the first time in their year and a half marriage, the Gurganuses were living in the same house. Shortly thereafter, General Gurganus left for another tour in Iraq, this time for 13 months. “We’ve lived together a total of about a year in four years of marriage,” Gurganus said, adding, “I know more about being a general’s wife than I do about being a wife.”
With the vulnerability of Marine Corps life taking over the relationship, the Gurganuses make their relationship a priority. “I think couples have to make time to nurture each other. Otherwise you’ll just lose each other,” Gurganus said. “Mark and I have a rule that when he comes home in the evening, and it might be 7:30 or 8:00, that’s our time.”
Life as a Marine Wife
Several character staples have traveled with Gurganus from base to base, including her Christian beliefs, an incredible taste for interior decorating, and an innate desire to make people feel special and help them use their talents.
Everyone has a unique talent they could be teaching others, Gurganus stressed. She recalled meeting a young spouse who was fluent in sign language. “She could take that talent and maybe she couldn’t get a job that pays her for it, but she could teach people how to do sign language.” Do you have a world-class chili recipe? Know how to give great haircuts? Enjoy painting fingernails? Excel at arranging flowers? The base has locations and resources to help you teach that talent to other military families. “Use the two or three years you’re here and teach somebody something you know,” Gurganus said.
Another key to being a Marine spouse is to make friendships, Gurganus stressed. “These friendships will go with you all over the world. I’ve never seen such a support system as I’ve seen in the Marine Corps with friends. However, you’ve got to be a friend. The responsibility of friendships is yours, not theirs.” Above all, you have to make your own happiness and learn to laugh at even the most outrageous situations. “If you can laugh at it, you can live with it,” Gurganus said.
Making the Most of Where you live
Living in Twentynine Palms, Bridgeport or Yuma, Arizona can often seem like a detriment to happiness for Marine families. The desert air has only helped to accentuate Gurganus’ adventurous side. “I love driving and just seeing where I end up,” she said. “I like just getting lost and exploring new things, seeing what’s out there.” Opportunities abound in Twentynine Palms and Bridgeport that would not be possible in an urban setting. “You could almost take a step back in time and live the simpler life,” Gurganus said. “Teach your kids to milk a cow or ride a horse, how to build a fire and camp, toboggan or ice skate in Bridgeport, or get an astronomy book and learn the stars. We’re so far from the big cities, we can really be creative.
Of course, living in Southern California also offers many mainstream opportunities. “If you can afford it, definitely do the expensive stuff,” Gurganus said, highlighting Disneyland, Universal Studios and Hollywood. Your local Chamber of Commerce can offer plenty of ideas. With discounts available at the MCCS Information, Tickets and Tours office and inexpensive lodging at military bases throughout the area, almost any military family, with a little pre-planning, can afford that occasional trip to the big name attractions.
The only way to make life exciting, wherever you’re stationed, is to keep your own attitude in check. “Your attitude is everything when it comes to being a Marine spouse or being a Marine,” Gurganus said. “The attitude of where you live, how you treat people, is going to determine how great of a place this is going to be. You make this community.”
Get to Know Me!
This Marine spouse is making the communities her own, and she’s doing it with pizzazz. Whether volunteering with the Navy Marine Corps Relief Society, talking with fellow Marine families at Town Hall meetings, or getting to know her neighbors, Gurganus has found that her best opportunity to serve has been in listening. She wants to know your needs and she wants to know you.
“I think people need to remember that our spouses are the active duty military. We don’t have a rank. Remember that I am as much a military wife, and really, a new military wife, so the same emotions you go through when your spouses are deployed or working long hours are the same the general’s wife goes through. We’re all spouses that go through the exact same challenges, whether we’re 20 or 50. And the great thing about all of us is we can share with each other and take care of each other.”
There is nothing more important to us than Marines, Sailors and their families at Twentynine Palms, Bridgeport and MAWTS-1. We are excited to be living here and we love being apart of the communities.
