.:A Desert Lifestyle Article:.
Deployment Tips with Lauren Lee
Story by Kate Dyer & Photos By Terry Mayes
What do you do when your husband deploys? As a military spouse, you have probably asked this question of yourself or been asked by those around you. Though the details can differ vastly for each spouse, the main answer is universally the same, “You do what you have to do.”
For some spouses, this includes becoming more involved in community service or church. For others, it means long hours at the office or staying home caring for children. I recently sat down with Marine spouse Lauren Lee to ask her a few questions that many of us ponder when we hear that our husband will soon deploy. Lauren is the wife of Staff Sgt. Tommy Lee with 3rd LAR and mother to Zion, a sweet 3-year-old boy. Her family recently completed its second deployment.
Q: How do you prepare your child for deployment?
A: I think it depends on the child. Some kids may need greater preparation in advance, but for Zion, telling him early made him slightly anxious. We tried to focus on the time that we did have with Tommy rather than always talking about him leaving. We emphasized the fun activities we would do in the meantime, such as making packages or videos to send or planning monthly destinations that would be special mommy-son dates. We try to focus on the positive aspects, but still are aware that we will miss daddy.
Q: What are some creative things to send in care packages to your spouse?
A: The best things are pictures and cards, especially from kids. When a special holiday is approaching, sending decorations is a fun way to keep Marines’ spirits up. Anything funny is also great. My husband loves spicy things and Indian Cove Market has hot tamale candies that are his favorite.
Q: Are you working outside the home while your husband is deployed?
A: Yes, I work part time at Hi-Desert Physical Rehabilitation Group in Twentynine Palms as a physical therapist. It’s a way to give back to the community, both to military families and to civilians.
Q: What are some ways to make your husband feel special while he is deployed?
A: Last deployment, my mom had the idea to do a “year of devotion.” Friends and family each signed up for a day of his deployment to devote to pray for him, as well as send letters and packages to him. I had t-shirts made with Tommy’s picture that said, “I support a Marine in Iraq!” This was a great way for people out in the community to put a face with the families who remain on the homefront. Between friends and family, I probably had about 45 shirts made. This time, I had lapel pins made. That way, wherever we go, we keep him close at heart.
Q: What are some things that you enjoy doing for fun?
A: Scrapbooking! Before my husband left, he completed an eight-month project of building me a craft table at the MCCS Wood Hobby Shop. It is such a sweet reminder of all of the ways he serves, both our family and our country. Scrapbooking on the table he crafted is an extra special time for me.
Q: What advice would you give to a new Marine or Sailor wife that is about to face her first deployment?
A: Find ways to connect with other spouses going through the same thing. I had the misconception that people would tell me to “get over it” because we all face it at one time or another, but the opposite has been true. The more involved and the more connected I have become, the more support I feel. I am no longer as hesitant to ask for help if I need it. The military has become my family.
Q: What are you looking forward to most upon your husband’s return?
A: Just the everyday moments like eating together as a family, playing games and being silly with my son. Just to hear his voice echo in the house will be a welcome sound.
